Earlier in the month, I wrote about AT&T suing Verizon for its excellent commercials that (rightfully) criticize AT&T’s (shoddy) network. Verizon has filed its response…and it’s awesome. Just look at the intro:
AT&T did not file this lawsuit because Verizon’s “There’s A Map For That” advertisements are untrue; AT&T sued because Verizon’s ads are true and the truth hurts.
Zing!!! Seriously, that’s the coolest start to a legal document I’ve ever seen. It’s straight out of a WWE promo! Awesome.
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And here I thought a legal team was supposed to keep from showing that there was sand in vag… hrmmm
Defense Attorney: So, Mr. de la Vega, Do you provide more 3G coverage than the the commercials imply?
Ralph de la Vega: Well, to be frank…
Defense Attorney: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU PROVIDE MORE 3G COVERAGE THAN THE COMMERCIALS IMPLY!
continued:
Defense Attorney: Oh you didn't know? Your as better CALL SOMEBODY!
Oh wait, you can't… I'd like to have that stricken from the record please.
AT&T brought up at least one good point about how they are better than Verizon – AT&T's 3G network lets wireless customers simultaneously talk and surf the web or do e-mail. I knew Sprint customers couldn't but I didn't know Verizon couldn't also.
Also Verizon just raised the termination fee to $350 for a full 2-year contract minus $10 per month contract is fullfilled.
Ralph de la Vega is in trouble. Leaving the courtroom in a dead run, de la Vega sprinted through the rest of the courthouse, looking, nay searching, for someone, anyone that could help him out of his predicament.
It was in his haste that he stumbled upon a lone door. It was in the center of one of the lunchrooms, and it was attached to no walls. It just… stood there. The door looked sturdy, and confused by it's sudden appearance and lack of support, de la Vega stopped and stared.
In white lettering along the front were three large letters: APA.
De la Vega knocked, and the door opened to the otherside of the lunchroom, where two burly gentlemen, one black and thick, the other white and tall, and ebony and ivory pairing of immenseness. They were playing cards and drinking beer, and each turned their head just slightly to look at who had entered.
"Can we help you?" Farooq, the dark skinned warrior said.
De la Vega sputtered.
"He asked you a question," the caucasian, Bradshaw, harshly replied.
"I need… help," de La Vega, clearly out of breath, managed to say.
Farooq smiled and took another swig of his beer. "Oh we can help. But we need to get paid up front…"
@slicky – woah seriously? Verizon doesn't allow for talking and internet at the same time?
I enjoy that a lot with the iphone. that would definitely affect me moving over if they don't fix that.
Other than that I say the commercials are brilliant. hopefully it will push ATT to get their s#%# together
The Pre doesn't allow for simultaneous voice and data?
@ Smartguy
I know for a fact the Pre doesn't allow voice and internet, but it does allow sms. My friend tether's his phone to his pc and bitches when ppl call because it knocks him off the internet.
@Shockwave
Yeah I am always putting people on speaker phone and turning to the internet to search for stuff on my phone. I didn't realize that other couldn't also do that. I thought it was just a given that it should do that by default. I don't know about other carriers, but for all of AT&T's many many faults that is a must have feature.
definitely, in fact I'd be pretty happy with ATT if they were able to beef up the 3G coverage. I just don't see them ever catching up to Verizon though
Either a CDMA or EVDO bottleneck?
That is a great opening sentence!! I wish the law briefs I had to read for my media law class were half as good as what this response seems to be.
@SlickyFats That's a limitation of CDMA. It's not that Verizon isn't permitting it. It can't. Both Sprint and Verizon use CDMA.
Verizon lawyers also added the question to the legal brief to AT&T: "What did the five fingers say to the face?"
-M
Money in the Bank Match Anyone?
@Arguello That would be awesome. WWE legal logic is brilliant. My favorite was during the Triple H/Chris Benoit WrestleMania contract signing. HBK comes in, superkicks Benoit, and signs his spot on the contract. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't hold up in court, but in WWE it's totally legit.
@ray
Remember when Triple H married Stephanie while she was passed out?
Now all we need if for Sprints Titantron to come on and its a triple threat match. It could be a Tables, Gavels, and Chairs Match
!!!!
Apparently, there are NWA rule books in the Library of Congress as well.
@Arguello D-Von!!! Get the gavels!!!
@N8R Waitaminute…there aren't?!? Screw that. I'm never going to that place.