The American Idol 2011 finals have come down to two teenage country singers: Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery. In my top 10 rankings, I had them pegged at #7 and #6, respectively. Both of them raised their games and made it to the final round. Sadly, filthy pirate hooker Haley …

I was all set to write about American Idol’s “Top 10″, but Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, and Steven Tyler used the judges’ save this week. Instead of 10 singers on the American Idol summer tour, there will be 11. It’s coming down to the wire and I wanted to rank …

American Idol is back with new judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)! Gone are the awesome Simon Cowell, the useless Kara DioGuardi, and the ineffective Ellen DeGeneres. Adding continuity and stability are everyone’s favorite dog, Randy Jackson, and Ryan Seacrest, the hardest working man in Hollywood. So what did …

I’m not sure how I missed this — former American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi is writing a memoir called A Helluva High Note! She was absolutely useless on the show and wrote one of the crappiest songs ever recorded (“No Boundaries”). That said, prior to Idol she was a successful …

Tonight’s the finale of American Idol! When the season started, I was planning on covering the show consistently, but it turned out to be such a crappy year for Idol that I couldn’t stand watching it and lost interest. In addition to the Crystal Bowersox vs. Lee DeWyze showdown, tonight’s …

Normund Gentle — one of the best and most ridiculous American Idol contestants of all time — has unleashed the art for his upcoming album, Gentle. The album name and cover art are inspired by Daughtry, arguably the most successful male AI  contestant. According to a recent blog post:
Daughtry is the …

One-sentence summary: White girls try to be soulful with mixed results.
The false idolatry continues with a recap of tonight’s episode of American Idol, featuring the top 10 girls. While there were a few dull performances, the girls as a whole were way better than the top 10 guys. Here’s how …

Yes, I’ve finally gotten around to writing an American Idol recap. I’m pretty much doing this for three people, but I hope some of you RPad.tv regulars enjoy it too. Anyway, let’s get on with the false idolatry. Last night was supposed to be the top 10 girls performing, but Crystal …

American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi — also known as “the useless one” or “the horny cougar” — recently posed for Maxim. There’s no denying that she has a beautiful body, but this video interview shows that her moronic comments are real — she’s just as stupid and annoying in Maxim …

Thanks to N8R for showing me my new favorite cover of General Larry Platt’s “Pants on the Ground”! Give it a listen. You’ll love it!